"Beware of Low-Flying Kitchen Appliances"

"The muse is fleeting..."

Back in July 2002 Bungie began a series of Bungie Comics for their website. According to the very first Bungie Comic the idea was to "...show real Bungie employees and the zany antics they have interacting with famous Bungie characters."

Initially one comic a month was produced but after 3 months the schedule started to slip... and slip...

On February 25, 2003 the Bungie Comic featured former employee Greg Kirkpatrick and his famous run-in with a dishwasher. The full title of the comic read: Bungie Handbook Rule No. 186: Beware of Low-Flying Kitchen Appliances.

The date of this comic is interesting as seven years earlier (give or take a day or two) Marathon Infinity was announced (on February 21, 1996) and that Greg Kirkpatrick was going to do it. Perhaps someone at Bungie had remembered.

Looking back at Matt Soell's email from February 22, 1996 I can't help but feel an eerie sense of foreshadowing:

"He's put together some VERY interesting ideas, and while I can't talk about them in any detail yet, I can tell you that the plot of the scenario in Marathon Infinity will be as labyrinthine as you've come to expect - perhaps more so."

But I digress.

The title of the comic is of course a play on the Marathon level "Beware of Low-Flying Defense Drones..." which is itself a play on the earlier Pathways Into Darkness level "Beware of Low-Flying Nightmares".

Low-Flying Nightmares are these guys in the game.

Pathways Into Darkness artwork by Craig Mullins.

In Pathways Into Darkness you find the dead body of one of your Special Forces team called Greg on the level "Watch Your Step".

When you ask him about his death he will reply:

Those spider things were all around me, but
I didn't stop firing until I ran out of bullets.
Then something hit me like a dish washer-
it must have been one of those zombies.

And if you ask about the 'dish washer' he will reply:

Yeah, like a dish washer dropped from three
stories or something. I don't even remember
getting hit before that. I was spanking them
until I died.

In a comp.sys.mac.games post on February 13, 1994 Jason Jones replied to a question about finding Greg in the game.

Newsgroups: comp.sys.mac.games
From: jon3@quads.uchicago.edu (Jason Jones)
Subject: Re: Can't find Greg in PiD
Message-ID: <1994Feb13.053639.6690@midway.uchicago.edu>
Sender: news@uchinews.uchicago.edu (News System)
Reply-To: jon3@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago
References: <NIALL.94Feb7200040@deepthought.unm.edu> <10367@copper.Denver.Colorado.EDU> <2jgh7f$36k@pith.uoregon.edu>
Date: Sun, 13 Feb 1994 05:36:39 GMT
Lines: 18

In article <2jgh7f$36k@pith.uoregon.edu> rtaylor@cie-2.uoregon.edu (Russ Taylor) writes:
>Dave Mayer put forth into the Codex of Shub-Internet:
>> HELP! I've found the remains of the American expedition, and Ed (the poor
>> armless soul in the pillar area of Need a Light) has been helpful enough
>> to tell me that he saw Greg run back through the area ten minutes after the
>> rest of the expedition went to their doom at the hands (?...) of the Weber
>> Char-Lite blob....but, theoretically, the only ladder out of NaL? leads back
>> to the Labyrinth., and I can't find Greg *ANYWHERE* on the neighboring levels
>> to Layrinth. Spoilers are unnecessary, but hints would be greatly appreciated...
>Here's an easy hint:
>He's under the first skitter level.  Somewhere under :)

Ask him about Street Fighter.  :)


This Easter Egg in the game gives you the following response from Greg.

Man, I'll never get to play Street Fighter
again. But Jason always beat me after I got
that big bruise on my brain, so I guess it's
no big loss.

In the Official Hint Book for Pathways Into Darkness Dan Meltz wrote:

What's this weirdness about a dishwasher?

There is a real person named Greg. Greg Kirkpatrick. He had a dishwasher
accidentally dropped on his head from three stories up. He's fine now, and his
Streetfighter II playing ability seems to be returning. Thank you for asking.

And how did Greg Kirkpatrick... survive the fall?

Well that's another story...

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Last updated July 12, 2022