Magical Mystery Tour: Stop 4
Posted By: Godot <Hamish.Sinclair123@gmail.com>
Date: 8/5/11 6:15 a.m.

Magical Mystery Tours my a$$. I've been up and down this street 7 times now
and I still haven't found The Ming Choy. Mystical?!!!... more like mythical, the
place doesn't exist. I want my 7 dollars back!

Sorry we don't do refunds. Did you study the pictures carefully, one in
particular. You don't need to guess which number now do you?

err... oh... OHHH

Ok, back on the bus everyone, we have a long way to go to our next destination.

American Science & Surplus
5316 N. Milwaukee Ave.
Chicago, IL 60630

*Que Eerie Voice Over*
No one would have believed in the last years of the twentieth century that
this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than
own, that as we busied ourselves about our various concerns we were being
scrutinised and studied. With infinite complacency we went to and fro over
this planet about our little affairs, serene in our assurance of our empire over
matter.
*End Eerie Voice Over*

Google Maps will drop you off at the back entrance of American Science &
Surplus. To get to the front you have two choices, left or right. Choose right
and you will have a long way to go. Choose wrong and...

Sheesh... this sounds like bleedin' Pathways Into Darkness.

Legend has it that Matt Soell bought Bungie's Soffish from American Science
& Surplus. Believing they were a bargain, he bought two. Matt explains:

I actually bought two of them, one carp-like one (the "official"
Soffish, or at least what Bungie vets might think of as the official
one) and another which resembled a rainbow trout. They were 10
cents each and if I had known what a cultural phenomenon they
would become I would have bought the entire stack instead of
just two.

The carp-like Soffish lived in a Gatorade bottle filled with water.
The second one was never removed from his packaging. Both
have long since gone missing.

For years, Bungie fans watch the Bungie Cam for glimpses of Soffish. Indeed,
Soffish proved so popular that they named the Bungie Cam website -
soffish.bungie.com. But just as young innocent minds watched Soffish, Soffish
watched back. Watched and waited.

Attempts to find other Soffish proved futile, as Matt explains:

At one point (when Bungie was still in Chicago) the then-manager
of the Bungie Store, Jim Ruiz, called American Science and
Surplus to see if they had any more. They did not even know
what he was talking about. And that was just a couple years after
I'd bought them.

The packaging held little clues to their origin, other than a cryptic "Made in
Taiwan".

The mystery behind Soffish, their covenient appearance and disappearance,
still puzzles people today, as Matt explains:

There are many mysteries associated with Soffish - where they
came from, where they are now, and what does it all mean? I
think we should just be grateful to have had Soffish in our lives
for the brief period we did.

Only a select few know the real tru7h behind Soffish. A tru7h so shocking that
even fewer dare speak of it. Suffice to say that it involves multi-dimensional
beings, colonization and Phish Food.

But rest assured folks, when the Soffish arrive in their battle-hardened
PhishTanks, people will remember...

"IT WAS ALL MATT SOELL'S FAULT!"

Well... isn't it always? ;)

Cheers
Hamish

Next stop...