The Battle of Brooklyn
"It ain't over till the 'Lazyboy' sings!"
"It ain't over till the 'Lazyboy' sings!"
Back in 1997, Double Aught Software (the guys who brought you the Marathon Infinity scenario - The Blood Tides of Lh'owon) engaged in a series of one-on-one network games using their newly released netmap pack Coriolis Loop. Films of these duals were released on the net through Don King Promotions. The objective was to find out who was the best network player at Double Aught when it came to one-on-one skills. The 'new bushido' as it was called back then.
But just as quickly as it sprang into being, the Battle of Brooklyn just stopped overnight. From the first shot to the clink of the last cartridge shell, the Battle of Brooklyn lasted a mere couple of weeks. What happened? Who was the winner? Now for the first time, in one place, is the complete, unabridged story of the Battle of Brooklyn.
Some facts before we start.
You will need the Coriolis Loop netmap pack if you want to watch the films (I have added a .zip download option to the original .sit format). Double Aught were based on Union St in Brooklyn, New York, hence the name 'The Battle of Brooklyn' and the reference to the Union St. Crew.
Don King is a fictional character and bears no relation to any real person, alive or dead. There is no truth in the rumor that he hid encoded messages in the Read Me files issued with Double Aught's films. Nor is it true that he was secretly working for Bungie Software to disrupt Double Aught's attempts to work on their new game - Duality, much like the mysterious janitor back in '94. Don King of course has never been available to comment on any of these allegiations. Nor has he been seen since his failed attempt at pay-per-view Marathon films.
So here in chronological order is the true story of the Battle of Brooklyn.
| Mar 31, 1997 |
Here's an interesting post on alt.games.marathon from Colin Kawakami, a graphic
artist who worked on Marathon Infinity. The post is in response to his
"CK on Infinity" section at Double
Aught's home page.
From: colink@inch.com (colink)
Newsgroups: alt.games.marathon
Subject: Re: What's www.duality.net
Date: 30 Mar 1997 21:45:30 GMT
Organization: Digital Telemedia Inc.
Lines: 41
Message-ID: <colink-3003971649440001@dyna214.dialup.dti.net>
References: <333C8EE4.30AA@flash.net> <333D45D1.165B@mcleod.net>
<Pfhusion's_not-2903972244380001@spk-76.cet.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: dyna214.dialup.dti.net
> But what's the point of CK on infinity? It's a bunch of pfhunky writing.
> What for?
>
> --
I perpetrated ck on infinity, and was responsible for alot of the alien
terminal graphics that were visited upon the player throughout the course
of the game...
As for the point, you might as well ask what the point of the whole
doubleaught site is, or the point of the whole web for that matter...
It's pretty much just a bunch of pretty pictures and text.
although I'll be the first to admit that nothing about ck on infinity is
informative, i think that it's worth a download...
As for duality... hehe. I'm not employed by doubleaught, so you can't take
my word for anything... but as a third party (ie no one is paying me) I
can say that what I've seen concerning duality so far makes my mouth water
in anticipation.
oh, and I'm making a collection of films, made in the home that ydnar of
doubleaught and i share, called "Ydnar's Most Embarrassing Moments". Randy
ranks easily in the top fifteen marathon players in the world, and
routinely kicks my bottom up and down the convex polygons of our favorite
virtual worlds, but when I manage to sneak a win in... I save it like gold
in a petty fashion.
If anyone would like to see these films of me kicking the torso-twisting
little brat's butt, then... well my email doesn't work, but I check this
newsgroup fairly frequently, so just ask.
--colin
"lilbuddha" & "ckwon"
...after death he proceeds to the next world
bearing in mind the subtle impressions of his deeds;
and after reaping the harvest of his deeds,
he returneth to this world of action. Thus he who
hath desire continueth subject to rebirth.
| Apr 1, 1997 |
Thanks to Colin Kawakami <colink@inch.com> for sending in the first of three net films
in the long running series of "Ydnar's Most Embarrassing Moments". You can get them here
(.sit or .zip format). You need the net map pack Coriolis Loop
to see these. You can get it directly from Double Aught's site
here.
Stay tuned for more in the series.
| Apr 4, 1997 |
Don King Promotions presents
Ydnar's Revenge
Three net films of one-on-one pavement-chewing carnage. Randy Reddig (don juan) vs. Colin Kawakami (lilbuddha) - the return match. Two men enter one man leaves. You will not see films like these anywhere else on the net. You can get them here (.sit or .zip format). Note you need the net map pack Coriolis Loop to see them. You can get it directly from Double Aught's site here.Soon to be released - CK Strikes Back. Sewage wrestling like you've never seen it!
In the pipeline - Toolboi Takes a Dive!
Remember folks:"It ain't over till the 'Lazyboy' sings!"
| Apr 5, 1997 |
Double Aught Software
and Don King Promotions proudly present:
In Brooklyn...
no one can hear you scream...
when the Union St. Crew play net!
More details to follow... watch this space!
| Apr 11, 1997 |
Double Aught Software
and Don King Promotions proudly present:
Who really rules on Union Street? The contenders:
As they say on Union St. - "It ain't over till the 'Lazyboy' sings!"
| Apr 12, 1997 |
With the first round of The Battle of Brooklyn just over the
post-mortems begin:
wiggly comments on his match against lilbuddha:
Colin got about 6-7 kills on me where he wasn't moving, just waiting for me to come up the stairs on Reason. But now I know better.
toolboi reflects on his upcoming battle with ydnar:
Randy likes to hang out on ledges and jump on your head after letting himself go blank on the motion sensor... so you can't tell where he is.
Concerning the allegations of match fixing and illegal betting toolboi had this to say:
You think I'm gonna take a dive, you're sadly mistaken.
Don King was unavailable for comment.
| Apr 13, 1997 |
Over heard at the BoB#1 post-match press briefing:
lilbuddha: are you saying i'm a sniping bitch?
lilbuddha: i'm going to have to punish you for maligning me on the story page.
lilbuddha: you're dead mister, dead i'm saying
wiggly: so, you think your kung fu's pretty good, eh?
lilbuddha: i beat you.
lilbuddha: you're a dead man.
wiggly: we'll see. i've been studying your technique, and i've found a flaw.
Who will win the next wiggly vs. lilbuddha one-on-one carnage duel? Has wiggly really discovered lilbuddha's Achilles Heel? Or will lilbuddha inflict another humiliation on uncle wiggly?
Don King was unavailable for comment.
| Apr 15, 1997 |
Double Aught Software
and Don King Promotions proudly present:
Watch in stunned disbelief as lilbuddha crushes both emonkey and ydnar in a back-to-back one-on-one carnage extravaganza. Who can stop the CK juggernaut? In the third match of the 2nd round of the Battle of Brooklyn wiggly takes on the mighty toolboi. Dueling just doesn't get any hotter. Are you keeping score?
| Apr 16, 1997 |
Some highlights from BoB#2 post-match press briefing:
wiggly comments on his defeat at the hands of toolboi:
wiggly: that was luck!
wiggly: he designed the game--you know he's got all those cheat codes...
wiggly: it was just damn luck and cheat codes!
How did lilbuddha feel about toolboi's alleged use of cheat codes?:
lilbuddha: for real, I'm going to beat the toolator by hook or by crook.
lilbuddha: greg is good, and i mean good, but he's rusty.. fighters from his generation are all washed up...
lilbuddha: so i'm going to whip his wrinkly old man's bottom.
toolboi was unavailable for comment concerning the allegation of using cheat codes.
Don King was also unavailable for comment.
| Apr 17, 1997 |
toolboi lays it on the line:
hey hamish: i heard what those punks were saying about cheat keys.. i can say only this. if the standard movement keys are cheat keys, maybe those guys should learn some more of them like "torso twist" so that next time we play they won't think i'm cheating when i kick their asses because every death is a giant excercise in disbelief or maybe they think i'm cheating when i jump their rockets by rocketing myself over them? or maybe they think i'm cheating when i fist them to death when they have guns and i don't.
Speaking candidly toolboi admits:
actually there is a cheat code that i use all the time in netplay. it's shift-option F9. it resets the keys back to the default setting while you play. it rules. i'm not lying it's totally undocumented hardly anyone knows about it.
What use is it? toolboi explains:
it's handy if you sit down at the puter and someone was just playing who uses pussy keys like caps lock.
Don King was unavailable for comment concerning the use, by some Brooklyn fighters, of "pussy keys like caps lock".
| Apr 21, 1997 |
Double Aught Software
and Don King Promotions proudly present:
Saturday night's alright for fighting...
lilbuddha: toolboi... your days are over
lilbuddha: you are over the hill
weirdboi: buddha am i going to have to meet you alone in a map of your choosing
and give you a whuuping
lilbuddha: how about tonight weirdboi? can you put your money where your mouth is?
weirdboi: colin i'll spot you the 200 megahertz machine
weirdboi: and i'll print something in the background of mine
weirdboi: or i can play with the wacom tablet and only 3 fingers
lilbuddha: hey weirdboi, you don't have to do me any favors
weirdboi: i won't i'll just make sure that the score makes you stop talking
weirdboi: and from now on the normally unorthodox toolboi will only be known as: weirdboi
weirdboi: i'm gonna use the weirding way on your punk a$$
Round #3 of the Battle of Brooklyn is an all Sands Serif event containing three first wave clashes between weirdboi & lilbuddha, don juan & toolboi, and wiggly & don juan.
Don King was unavailable for comment concerning toolboi's use of the so-called "weirding way". It is understood that protests have already been lodged.
| Apr 24, 1997 |
Asked to comment on the non-appearance of emonkey
at Round #3 of the Battle of Brooklyn wiggly replied:
the monkey's off his game. he's been rattled by the upstart, lilbuddha
Concerning speculation that the DA Crew were moving to bigger offices to accommodate their passion for non-stop net carnage wiggly responded:
yeah, this week we're going to a site with lots of fast macs on a fast connection, then the fur's gonna fly... monkey fur, that is...
Jim Mitchell <BobJam&aol.com> writes concerning the Battle of Brooklyn and asks
What I didn't catch were the rules. How many games will be played and in what format? Will there be finals?
Rules?! The rules are simple:
Rule #1 Two men enter... one man leaves!As for the number of films. Each player will play each player three times. So you should be able to determine the number from that. In its initial format the Battle of Brooklyn will be an all one-on-one carnage affair. But multiplayer films will feature soon. Concerning finals - well when all films are uploaded you should be able to determine the winner. Are you keeping score?
Rule #2 No use of cheat codes.
Rule #3 No punching below the belt.
Perrin Haley <phaley@sirius.com> writes:
...if America's Funniest Marathon Replays didn't exist before, they certainly do now. For example, I nearly fell out of my chair laughing as I saw "weird"boi whuup the ever-loving-crap out of lilbuddha in round three of The Battle of Brooklyn. Now if only he would go public with the secret of that "weirding way" thing...
| Apr 28, 1997 |
Double Aught Software
and Don King Promotions proudly present:
emonkey takes to the air in UN Attack and shows that Skinny Buddha Dude just who is Kingmonkey at DA. Seems the monkeyman rules the air! Riding on a wave emonkey dukes it out with wiggly on Reason. Asked whether this was a grudge match for all the dishing at the hands of the bold one, emonkey replied:
"don't mess with monkey... make him mad... he comes back stronger!"
Finally there is the 3rd and final wave clash between don juan and lilbuddha. These matches have been close but the final outcome is conclusive!
| Apr 29, 1997 |
Brett Siler <brett111@halcyon.com> writes:
I'm a baseball fan so stats come naturally. Here's what I have for 'Battle For Brooklyn'.Although the various contenders have played varying numbers of matches (from 4 to 7), Weirdboi is clearly in the lead, with a record of 4-0 (Wins/Losses) and 77 kills, including the most kills in a game (22 against Lilbuddha in Round 3).
Interestingly, there was a tie between Wiggly and Don Juan in Round 3 and it is yet to be seen how that will be scored or whether there will be a rematch or not. Also, some matches seem to have been stopped before ten minutes elapsed. These were in Round 4, involving Emonkey against Lilbuddha and Wiggly. If this was one player forfeiting or not is unclear.
Don Juan (72 kills) is 2-2 with a tie, Emonkey (58 kills) is 2-2, Lilbuddha (94 kills) is 3-4 and Wiggly (54 kills) is 0-3 with a tie.
I believe the shortness in some films is due to a bug in the game rather than a player forfeiting... but you never know. ;-)
The scoring system has yet to be ironed out with the Brooklyn Boys, suffice to say it will be a complicated matter involving calculus and the number seven. Watch out for special spot prizes such as "The Suicide Queen Award" for the person who notches up the most suicides and the "The Sniping Bitch Award" for the person who hangs out on ledges alot. ;-)
| Apr 30, 1997 |
Brett Siler <brett111@halcyon.com> has agreed to become official stats keeper
for the Battle of Brooklyn. Brett will be giving us an up-to-the-minute analysis on the state
of play between the Brooklyn boys.
Brett writes:
I forgot to let you know about the suicide stats.Weirdboi has 8 in 4 games; Wiggly has 8 in 4 games; Lilbuddha has 7 in 7 games; Emonkey has 5 in 4 games; and Don Juan has 4 in 5 games (the best suicide to 'games played' ratio).
There are 6 rounds left to be played, and from there, it is yet to be announced how the finals will be constructed or if there will be any at all.
Words were flying at the BoB#4 post-match press briefing. It's a "$**$ing travesty" screamed lilbuddha after watching a rerun of his match against emonkey. lilbuddha made the following official statement:
"that UN attack thing is a fluke... monkey, while his skills remain sharp... are no match for the enlightened mind of the buddha. (monkey sucks)"
Don King was unavailable for comment.
| May 1, 1997 |
emonkey replies to lilbuddha's
comments concerning their last match on UN Attack:
it appears i've upset the lilbuddha, especially with all the time he's been dedicating to improving his game. true enough, i could be giving him a better game if i were playing as much as he is but if UN was a fluke, his enlightened [sic] mind has little room for truth. i recall a night of flukes just last weekend. but i shouldn't hold such expectations in a someone who confuses drunkenness for enlightenment.
Don King was unavailable for comment.
| May 7, 1997 |
Thanks to all the people who have enquired about the next round of the
Battle of Brooklyn. Unfortunately I haven't heard from the DA crew.
They're probably holed up somewhere licking their wounds after their recent Quake death
match experiences.
| May 25, 1997 |
Concerning the Battle of Brooklyn - Chad Poland and Colin Kawakami of
Double Aught Software had this to say:
From: cgp@doubleaught.com (Chad G. Poland)
Newsgroups: alt.games.marathon
Subject: Re: Battle For Brooklyn query
Date: 23 May 1997 14:56:07 GMT
Organization: Double Aught Software
Message-ID: <cgp-ya02408000R2305971055370001@news.mindspring.com>
References: <33854E91.6D4@halcyon.com>
> Well, as the statistician of Battle For Brooklyn, it's been real
> dissapointing to see that Double Aught seems to have abandoned the
> tounament. Are you guys getting busy with Duality or what? Those are
> some great net films and it'd be great to see more. Just wondering what
> happened there.
Double Aught has not forgotten about the Battle in Brooklyn. They enjoyed
it very much. Unfortunately there is a time to play and a time to work.
Right now the entire Double Aught team is caught up in the creation of
Duality.
--
Regards:
Chad
_____________________
Double Aught Software
___________________
www.doubleaught.com
___________________
cgp@doubleaught.com
From: ck@spam.doubleaught.com (colin kawakami) Newsgroups: alt.games.marathon Subject: Re: Battle For Brooklyn query Date: Fri, 23 May 1997 12:45:55 +0100 Organization: Living Circle Circle Dot Dot Lines: 37 Message-ID: <ck-2305971245550001@dyna215.dialup.dti.net> References: <33854E91.6D4@halcyon.com> <cgp-ya02408000R2305971055370001@news.mindspring.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: dyna215.dialup.dti.net > > Well, as the statistician of Battle For Brooklyn, it's been real > > dissapointing to see that Double Aught seems to have abandoned the > > tounament. Are you guys getting busy with Duality or what? Those are > > some great net films and it'd be great to see more. Just wondering what > > happened there. > > Double Aught has not forgotten about the Battle in Brooklyn. They enjoyed > it very much. Unfortunately there is a time to play and a time to work. > Right now the entire Double Aught team is caught up in the creation of > Duality. > Duality is 200% of our time right now. The tools have gotten to the point where they are so fun to use, we just can't stop! I'd love to rant and rave about it, but the cancer man and the other superiors that even we at doubleaught must answer to are saying nay... the public must be kept in suspense for just a bit longer. As for the battle of brooklyn, and the subtle engineerings of one Don King? I don't think that members of doubleaught were ready to publicly declare a king. As the scores wound themselves up, we became anxious, perhaps even petty. These are not qualities worthy of the new bushido. If there was to be ONE who was the best? Daggers in the back, stangulation in dark stairwells, a revisionist history looming... I don't think so. And neither did the rest of the crew. We plan to release more films, but not anymore that are one on one. (I've had my share of game induced brawls) --colin aka lilbuddha "First, action is necessary, then knowledge, in order that you may know that you know nothing and are no one."
Don King had this to say: