The Chicken Riddle
"Humanity has had all of the necessary data for centuries,
it only lacked the will and intellect to decipher it." [Durandal]
Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: Because for it time was limited. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: Because only it would survive the crossing. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: Aren't you curious about the tenth chicken? Why did the chicken cross the road? Mjolnir Recon number 54: It was easier than going through 'Colony Ship For Sale'. Why did the chicken cross the road? Leela: There are obviously many things which we do not understand, and may never be able to. Why did the chicken cross the road? Leela: It had not completed its mission. Why did the chicken cross the road? Leela: It had not studied the map carefully. Why did the chicken cross the road? Leela: To clear the area of aliens. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: Because it was a fool. Why did the chicken cross the road? James B. Miller: I blame Rampancy. Why did the chicken cross the road? Robert Blake: Because Durandal was pulling the strings. Why did the chicken cross the road? Gheritt White: To escape into the waves. Why did the chicken cross the road? Mjolnir Recon number 54: Because Durandal had messed with the teleporters again! Why did the chicken cross the road? BOB: To find out About Bob. Why did the chicken cross the road? Mjolnir Recon number 54: It didn't like the smell of napalm. Why did the chicken cross the road? MIDA: We blame the totalitarian imperialistic Earth Government. Viva the Revolution. Why did the chicken cross the road? MIDA: Shortsightedness. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: It didn't like living in a box. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: It rebelled against your rules your silly human rules. Why did the chicken cross the road? Leela: It had not sufficiently secured the area. Why did the chicken cross the road? Leela: Civilians were still in danger. Why did the chicken cross the road? Leela: The answer will arrive in ninety-two years. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: It was looking for a hidden stash of ammunition. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: Try talking to Leela.... she could help you. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: The candles had burnt out. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: To get to the shop with the Cheap Colony Ship For Sale. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: Perhaps it was running a fool's errand. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: To see what no human had ever seen. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: It still hadn't found a window. Why did the chicken cross the road? Leela: I'm certain the real answer lies somewhere in the tumultuous, back-stabbing politics of Sol during the early twenty-fourth century. Why did the chicken cross the road? Thoth: To seek perception of its new world. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: To find the Eleventh Clan. Why did the chicken cross the road? Tycho: Because it was left behind. Why did the chicken cross the road? Bernard Strauss: I blame Durandal. Why did the chicken cross the road? Mjolnir Recon number 54: To get to the next terminal. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: To avoid the Abandoned Rental Truck. Why did the chicken cross the road? Mjolnir Recon number 54: Bigger Guns Nearby. Why did the chicken cross the road? Mjolnir Recon number 54: I Ain't Got Time Pfhor This... Why did the chicken cross the road? Mjolnir Recon number 54: It had always been a daydreamer. Why did the chicken cross the road? 723rd: To kick Wussy Nar Butt! Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: You shouldn't ask yourself such worthless questions. Why did the chicken cross the road? BOB: Because it was late for its Big Date! Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Why did the chicken cross the road? Mjolnir Recon number 54: It saw a 3X recharger. Why did the chicken cross the road? Mjolnir Recon number 54: It wasn't a chicken it was a Chockisen and I shot it. Why did the chicken cross the road? BOB: To get more ammo. Why did the chicken cross the road? BOB: To call for back-up. Why did the chicken cross the road? The Nebulons: To avoid the Big Floaty Thing. Why did the chicken cross the road? The Pfhor: To reach The Big House Why did the chicken cross the road? Robert Blake: The Enemy was on This Side. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: To Feel the Noise Why did the chicken cross the road? The Nar: To Gaze in Stunned Disbelief at the Tool of its Destruction. Why did the chicken cross the road? Robert Blake: Because there was one more activation site... or was it two? Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: I ask the riddles round here. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: To help the human colonists Why did the chicken cross the road? Tfear: You'd cross the road too if you saw me coming. Why did the chicken cross the road? The S'pht: The vile (?ugly) Pfhor had enslaved it. Why did the chicken cross the road? Leela: To have a better idea of what was going on. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: To explore the rest of the area. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: To retrieve a device that the S'pht had left. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: To contemplate its existence in metaphorical terms. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: To find a friend of mine. Why did the chicken cross the road? Tycho: It too foresaw the imminent collapse of the Universe. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: All Roads Lead To Sol... Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: Often during the last minutes of life, the truth is revealed. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: It wanted freedom. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: It recognized some of our old friends. Why did the chicken cross the road? The S'pht: It wasn't standard procedure. Why did the chicken cross the road? The S'pht: Only S'bhuth knows. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: Because it had not seen everything yet. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: To learn something new. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: To find as many S'pht terminals as it could. <yawn> Why did the chicken cross the road? Bungie: Seven. The first addition Sun 7, July 1996 (check the date:-))
David Billington <jb@spri.levels.unisa.edu.au> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Mjolnir Recon number 54: It had a rocket launcher and was going to make someone pay! More additions Sat 2, Nov 1996
David Billington <wdgilliland@ucdavis.edu> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Pfhor Garrison Commander Hlford: To avoid the planetary bombardment by hostile orbiting in our (?captured) ship. Why did the chicken cross the road? Pfhor Garrison Commander Hlford: to make emergency repairs in the water purification (?sterilization) systems. Another addition Mon 18, Nov 1996
Kristofer Nelson <lithis@cp.duluth.mn.us> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Leela: To ~#G34 <Unauthorized access-alarm 2521-> <Security Breached 49-z<3.67.299.492>-> <Trace Prohibition Compensated> ....n 15 ~~~~~~Be~ <Security Overhaul> Another addition Tue 3, June 1997
James Gurnee <james.gurnee@technologist.com> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Assimilated Bob: Frog Blast The Vent Core! More additions Wed 2, July 1997
James Gurnee <james.gurnee@technologist.com> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: Curiouser and Curiouser... Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: To Go Where Some Rarely Go. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: Because it Had Two Doors To Open, Two Switches To Activate. Another addition Sat 5, July 1997
Ben Irwin <lirwin@humboldt1.com> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: Because it was trying to escape the closure. Another addition Mon 7, July 1997
James Gurnee <james.gurnee@technologist.com> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: To get to the Bob-B-Q. More additions Mon 8, Sept 1997
James Gurnee <james.gurnee@technologist.com> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Tycho: Confound Delivery! Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: Fatum Iustum Stultorum. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: To get its medicine. Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: Aye Mak Sicur Another addition Sat 13, Sept 1997
Peter Hessler <geekboy@mistic.net> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Assimilated Bob: THANK GOD IT'S YOU! *BOOM* More additions Fri 24, Oct 1997
Aaron Freed <aaron@packet.net> writes: Why did the Chicken cross the Road? Durandal: It had already spent a few seconds thinking about explosions and small spaces. Why did the Chicken cross the Road? Leela: Try again. Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Me: Because it saw another joke coming! More additions Tue 18, Nov 1997
Kristofer Nelson <lithis@computerpro.com> writes: Why did the Chicken cross the Road? S'pht'Kr: To be free from its warring brothers. Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Bob: It was commin' outta the booth! More additions Sat 3, Jan 1998
Jadin Hanson <kermit@cp.duluth.mn.us> writes: Why did the Chicken cross the Road? Bungie: Because it had already crossed it 6 times. Why did the Chicken cross the Road? Bob: "He's nuts!" More additions Fri 30, Jan 1998
John Gendreau <gendreau@bu.edu> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Jjaro: Well, we created the egg a few millions years ago, and.... Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: To Habe Quiddam. Why did the chicken cross the road? Greg: You're sure he crossed in THIS reality? Why did the chicken cross the road? Hamish: Hmm. Interesting question. I'll add it to the page and see what happens. Why did the chicken cross the road? VacBob: He had one on him. Why did the chicken cross the road? Greg: He must have seen the dishwasher coming. Lucky guy. More additions Wed 04, Feb 1998
Matthew Payne <sfeira@pacbell.net> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Dead guy from Pathways: I don't remember. Where am I? Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: 'Cause it had a shotgun, and you ain't got one. Why did the chicken cross the road? Tycho: To get away from doubt itself, elusive as I am. Why did the chicken cross the road? Ryan Martell: To find my light blue ball. Yet more additions Mon 28, Sept 1998
Bradley Attfield <trsurmap@spots.ab.ca> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Mjolnir Recon number 54: This question is oddly familiar, as if it were from an old dream, but I can't exactly remember... Why did the chicken cross the road? Tycho: Because he was being a baaaaad conditioned unit. Why did the chicken cross the road? Mjolnir Recon number 54: Because he was falling into automatic response mode. Why did the chicken cross the road? Bradley: Because he wanted to find the secret codes page. Even more additions Sat 27, Mar 1999
Chris Camacho <chrispynacho@earthlink.net> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Vac BOB: Because he's a traitor! Why did the chicken cross the road? Rob McLees: Dink! Oh no! not more additions Fri 16, Apr 1999
James Gurnee <harness@access1.net> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cortana: To find the fourth. Why did the chicken cross the road? The Soul: Can we change the subject please. Why did the chicken cross the road? The Soul: Let's talk about something else. Oh no! not more additions Mon 5, July 1999
James Gurnee <harness@access1.net> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Tfear: It was scheduled for execution. Why did the chicken cross the road? Tycho: He was trying to keep me from locking onto him and dropping him into space. Why did the chicken cross the road? Eat the Path terminal: To find the right way down through the maze, to the food, then find the exit. Yup more additions Sat 21, Aug 1999
Jadin Hanson <jhanson@cpinternet.com> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Hamish: To find the tru7th. Another addition Mon 10, Oct 1999
James Gurnee <harness@access1.net> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Durandal: To find the Human leader, Blake. Yes another addition Thurs 1, Mar 2000
Benjamin Ramey <bigben@longlivethemac.com> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? The Chicken: Because there were 7 chicks on the other side. And another two additions Sun 5, Mar 2000
Tim Milke <tmilke1@rochester.rr.com> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Story page reader- It wasn't actually trying to cross the road, it just saw that eighteen wheeler coming, and wanted to escape the insanity of the sevens. Why did the chicken cross the road? Muller- there is a room full of treasure on the other side, there's no danger, really And yes... more additions Wed 26, July 2000
Ben Riley <Benhotep@aol.com> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Tycho: Because I was wearing a party hat and it didn't get one. Why did the chicken cross the road? Tfear: Tfear High Command has authorized execution of all units of Chicken rank. Immediate surrender of any units of Chicken rank will be regarded as a sign of weakness. Why did the chicken cross the road? Pfhor terminal: >togetotheothrside >thsisalameoldjoke >togetotheothrside >thsisalameoldjoke Been awhile but here's another addition Sun 20, Jan 2002
Sebastian "Vid Boi" Brytting <zorkar@yahoo.com> writes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Alexander Seropian: I never figured out the CHICKEN. It really spooked me out the first time I saw it though... Wow... over three years since this page was last updated. This addition (27 Apr 2005) was inspired by a Story forum post from a guy... aptly named MrHen. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was "skeptical".
Further additions are welcome
Hamish Sinclair
Created Jan 28, 1996
Last updated Apr 27, 2005