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Title: Legions of Eupfhoria II Author:Svywranth

o8 ) Legions of Eupfhoria ( 8o


It is the year 2857. The Pfhor Empire is involved in a full-scale war with the combined armies of the S'Pht'Kr and the Unified Earth Space Council. As the neutral nation of Vylae has offered no assistance for the Pfhor and the frequent rebellions on the Empire's enslaved worlds are slowly bringing about the collapse of the Pfhor slave network, the war is beginning to turn against the Empire, and soon its forces will fall to the might of the Humans and S'Pht. Meanwhile, deep within the homefront of the Empire on the Civillian Pfhor world of K'Pook'Um, a battle of a completely different kind that may just turn the tides of galactic history slowly begins to unfold.....
o8 ) Chapter 2wo: Come and Set the Night on Pfhire ( 8o (or, Don't Quit Your Day Job, Man)

".... How about this..... 'Proffesional pfhoozeball player needed. Nice salary, great job. See the galaxy, meet people, play pfhoozeball.'"

F'Lush sauntered in from the Kitchen into the living room of Pfhred's small apartment, kicking a few stray space rats out of the way. In one hand he held a bowl of Prix Cereal and in the other a bent spoon. He still wore his Mediocre Burger uniform, now covered with several splotches and stains.

"Can you play pfhoozeball?" He asked of his fighter friend.

Pfhred shook his head.

"Well, neither can I. Next." F'Lush took a bite of Prix, relishing the way the artificial grain globs tore up the roof of his mouth.
"Okay...." Pfhred scanned the employment section of the newspaper, setting his eyes on a large, brightly colored ad. 'Two young, masculine, verile men needed as strip dancers/party clowns. See beautiful women and happy children. Equal-opportunity employer. Pfhor only.'"

F'Lush thought about this, then wandered over to Pfhred's bathroom. He then proceeded to flex in many ways, checking himself out from several angles. He repeatedly sloshed Prix on himself and the floor. Satisfied, he wandered back out to the living room and regarded Pfhred.

"I pass. What about you?"

Pfhred condidered this, then shook his grey, spackled head.

"I'm not one for exhibitioning myself. Besides, clowns scare me."

F'Lush looked dissapointed. Pfhred continued on, his three eyes looking this way and that, taking in the many ads that littered the paper before him.

"Hey, this sounds great.... 'Management positions open at Mediocre Burger outlet #7-75-S....' oh, nevermind. Hmmmmm.... Taxi cab driver.... naw.... Oh... Here we are. 'Assistant cooks needed for television show "Kooking with K'Luk." Have the entire empire see your face on Imperial Holovision. Drinniol need not apply.'"

F'lush scowled.

"I've seen what that guy cooks. It's all gross fancy stuff."
"Yeah, but do you want to go about life eating just Prix and leftover Mega Gulp, Supremely Sloppy? We could learn a thing or two." countered Pfhred.
"Hmmm.... yeah.... well, keep the number handy. We might want that later." F'lush wandered into the kitchen to get himself a new spoon, as the Prix had worn his old one away.
"Huh.... wow, this sounds good. 'Make money fast. Turn $5 into $500000!' Hey, F'Lush! This sounds great! It's totally legal and it's practically FRE-"

A ball of fire flew from the kitchen and burnt a hole through the paper where the ad had been. Pfhred turned around to see F'Lush standing at the door, holding Happy, his flamethrower. The enforcer regarded Pfhred cooly and answered his questioning look with a curt "Next," then occupied himself with toasting a few space rats that had made their way into the corner of Pfhred's living room.

Pfhred continued to scan the paper. Finally, he jabbed his finger at a picture of a small, brown, furry object, oozing over with lovability and cuteness. "Listen to this. 'Puppy walkers needed. Recent surge in Empire Puppy populations has created a need for caretakers. Play with cute puppies all day and get paid to do it.'"

F'Lush forgot about the rats and got closer to read the ad himself. As he leaned over, a bit of milk from his cereal dripped onto Pfhred's shoulder. The fighter angrily smacked the bowl from F'Lush's hands, whereupon it splattered its corrosive contents upon a few rats F'Lush had missed.

F'Lush snarled angrily and started to say something, but before he could start, Pfhred interupted him.

"Prix are for kids," spat the fighter as he inspected the new Prix-induced hole in his shirt.

F'Lush was rather annoyed, but he let it pass. "The puppy walking job sounds fun. And they're so cute.... How much does it pay?"

Pfhred read further.

"Enough to pay the rent, although there are 'excellent advancement opportunities.'"

F'Lush nodded and grinned to himself as he picked up the comm unit.

"What's the number....?"
o8 )

Sneed's Encyclopedia Universa, circa 3560, states that in the late 29th century there had been a large number of puppies infesting the many nooks and crannies of the extensive Pfhor empire. Although the exact conditions as to why this happened are unknown as of yet, it is believed that in one attempt by the Pfhor to enslave a human colony, a civillian cargo ship was seized and its cargo confiscated. Among this cargo were a few dogs. Do to some unknown factor of Pfhor life, these dogs reproduced at a very rapid pace, similar to mice on Earth. Within a few short years the entire Pfhor Empire was crawling with these adorable pests. Due to the violent nature of Pfhor living, these dogs very rarely lived long enough to get past the puppy stage. As such, puppies became a furry scourage to Pfhor society. Other theories as to the puppy plague included conspiracy theories stating it was a plan by the Pfhor Imperial Council to decimate the Empire's civillian population, thereby weeding out the weak among the strong and creating a society of pure warriors. Since explosives or dangerous toxins were never found within any puppies, this theory was quickly dismissed by experts, although it is still regarded as valid by the Pfhor Council of Historical Plagues, Outbreaks, Viral Infections and Common Colds, and numerous, insane lunatics locked up in the many Asylums located within the Empire.

o8 )

Although the inhabitants of the small city of P'Dunk had seen many strange things before, one of the oddest ones so far was currently wandering the streets. It could be easily identified as a living lint ball, about three feet in diameter. Ten ropes led from this collection of lint to the hand of a fighter in cut-off jeans, and a T-Shirt that read "Your Mom," in bright green Pfhoric. In his other hand the fighter held the trademark Force staff of his race. This fighter was situated upon a skateboard, and was being pulled along the sidewalk by the energetic lint ball. Approxomately ten feet behind the Fighter, another lint ball was dragging a prone Enforcer in a stained fast-food uniform. The enforcer repeatedly spewed various curses, especially after being dragged over a particularly large bump.

The fighter called back to the Enforcer in a cheerful, enthusiastic voice.

"Hey F'Lush! Isn't this great?"

The hapless enforcer spat out a mouthful of gravel from under his mask and shouted a reply.

"Yeah, just fine."

Pfhred gave the leashes a quick snap and the clump of fuzz surged forward at a faster pace, pulling him and his skateboard further away from F'Lush and his fuzzy ensemble.

Seeing Pfhred zip ahead at an increasingly rapid rate, F'Lush snarled a little and shook the leashes to his fuzzball. It then proceeded to drag him along at an even faster (and even more painful) pace. Soon, he was slowly beginning to catch up with Pfhred.

Before F'Lush could pass up Pfhred and make several planned faces at him as he sped on ahead, Pfhred's Fuzzball suddenly stopped at a nearby Comm unit booth, leaving the surprised fighter coasting down the sidewalk without propulsion and the booth's current user looking outside its transparent metal alloy walls, surprised. The fuzzball quickly split apart into ten smaller bundles of fuzz. Each had its own leash, still held at one end by the departing Pfhred, along with its own pair of bright, abnormally large eyes, a pink button nose, a tiny panting toungue and a disgustingly large amount of cuteness. All ten of them busied themselves with scent-marking the Comm unit booth as their own.

As many know, puppies can be very stubborn creatures. This was definitely the case here. Pfhred's solo journey down the street came to a quick end as he, literally, reached the end of his leash. All ten puppies, determined to continue their activities at the Comm unit booth, provided a firm enough resistance to pull the unfortunate fighter by the leashes from atop his skateboard and onto the pavement, with a rather ungracious thump.

To compound matters, F'Lush's batch of puppies had also taken an interest in the Comm unit booth, and promptly occupied themselves with it upon reaching it, as Pfhred's pack had done. The booth gave a shudder at the large amount of fuzz surrounding its base. The person inside looked about fearfully and tried to open the door, but to no avail, as the puppies firmly blocked it from the outside. F'Lush slid to a slow and painful stop nearby the fallen Pfhred.

A large amount of creaking from the booth suggested that it was no longer stable, what with the surge of lint that laced it from the bottom. It tipped dangerously to one side, then righted itself, and proceeded to rock to a barely stable position. The occupant inside attempted to climb to the top and escape through an air vent there, but stopped after setting the booth to rocking again. The puppies surrounding it mixed and mingled until each leash was hoplelessly tangled with one of the many others.

Pfhred sighed in relief.

"Wow, that was fun... " he lied as he watched his skateboard roll into traffic and upset a passing hovercar.

F'Lush only cursed in response. The two aliens tensed up again at clear, loud, musical sound of a large bell. Looking up, F'lush was treated to a view of a large Mega Gulp, Supremely Sloppy truck pass by.

The machine was immense, measuring at least a hundred feet. It soared high into the air, reaching above the nearby residential buildings and towering above the fallen aliens and their fuzzy charges. A large, painted sign on the side advertised the device's contents: Mega Gulp, Supremely Sloppy, Tfee-berry flavor. The large bell announced the arrival of the monstrosity as it slowly cruised among the streets of P'Dunk, merrily delivering its green, slimy contents to the thirsty inhabitants, young and old, military or otherwise. At the head of the hovering machine sat a small cockpit and a cheeful looking driver, dressed in very bright clothes, smiling in a very artificial manner and wearing a patch over his uppermost eye. He kindly waved to a few Pfhor children nearby (And their Hulk slave Nanny) as a robotic arm deposited Mega Gulp, Supremely Sloppies into their ever-eager hands. As a gesture of goodwill towards the hulking Drinniol nanny, he allowed the machine to offer her an extra large Mega Gulp, Supremely Sloppy. The driver's only reply to the nanny's dumbfounded, confused gaze was a cheerful, sparkling smile and a quick wink. An electronic voice sounded from a loudspeaker mounted upon the contraption. "*Your credit accounts have been docked accordingly. Thank you for choosing Mega Gulp Drinking Fluid Matter.*"

Pfhred and F'Lush watched in awe as the hovering monster passed. The puppies, smelling the delightful odor of Tfee-Berry (and mistaking it for actual food) surged from out around the Booth, knocking it over in the process, and carrying with it its unfortunate contents, who looked very concerned. The booth fell and came to a soft, squishy rest upon the large ball of puppies, who mindlessly carried it with them as they charged after the advancing truck.

Pfhred exchanged a fearful look with F'Lush as the tangled leashes that they both held began to pull them along the pavement. The puppies charged belligerantly ahead after the truck. Pfhred was about to say something as he snatched up his dropped staff when they were yanked out into traffic by the lint wave and the booth it carried.

The Mega Gulp, Supremely Sloppy truck, finished with its rotations in this residential sector, made way for an entrance onto a nearby hover-expressway, accelerating its speed considerably. The puppies, and consequently, their puppysitters on ropes, sped up to match the speed of the retreating truck. Soon, the whole entourage was speeding down Hover Expressway #124 East at a rapid 456 Y'Units and hour.

o8 )

Pfhor measurement is a very confusing matter. Since the race's earliest days, their system of measurement, both in distance and in speed, has been in a constant state of fluctuation, changing every few decades with each new ruler (and, consequently, a new form of government.) . As of 3560, they have adapted to a USSC imposed system similar to Earth's own metric system. Needless to say, Pfhor society has been in shambles ever since. The Pfhor economy has slowed down to a crawl due to the unusual large number of errors with goods that it exports and their often incorrect measurements of them. In one most unfortunate case of Pfhor measurement gone bad, a Pfhor colony situated on the outermost sector ring of the galaxy nearby the Drannian border requested an emergency shipment of medical supplies to help combat a recent outbreak of a horrible eye-eating disease. While apporxomately 40.1 tons of the anti-virus were ordered from the nearest Pfhor supply dump, only 1.04 tons were delivered. As a sort of apology, the supply dump delivered the subsequent order for white canes directly, with no extra charge for services. Although the shipment of white canes was easily 1994% of what was needed, historians have always agreed that it is the thought that counts and have closed the book on that section of history.

o8 )

Pfhred and F'Lush would have made an attempt to stop the puppies from charging ahead, but they were currently busy dodging oncoming traffic and numerous roadside hazards. Several hovering vehicles were slowy but steadily approaching from the rear and construction work not so far ahead promised a very uncorfortable ride for the two aliens as they were pulled along by the hyperactive puppies. Due to the excessive speed, Pfhred and F'Lush were airborne, hovering a few inches from the smooth surface of the expressway. Had the puppies slowed down at all for whatever reason, the two would have faced an extremely painful case of road rash.

As the approaching cars came within spitting distance, a desperate yet viable idea came to Pfhred. He latched his staff onto the strap over shis shoulder and kept an eye behind him. When the cars were close enough, he let go of the leashes to the puppies and stuck to the front of the approaching hovercar, much like an insect. Planting his feet firmly on the bumper, he rode along the front, safe, for the time, from the threat of the smooth, metal surface of the road below.

Soon after Pfhred's escape, the Mega Gulp, Suprememly Sloppy truck, the puppies, the Comm unit booth that rode them, F'Lush, and the car Pfhred was riding on reached the construction area, sending jarring tremors through the vehicles as their hover engines attempted to compensate for the rough surface. F'Lush, possesing no such engines, was given a rather uncomfortable, rough ride as he continually met each bump and roll in the road head first. Pfhred fared cosideraby better, holding on for dear life as he ducked a low-hanging construction beam that grazed the top of his head and the vehicle he was attached to.

A warning light ahead sent a feeling of mild dread up Pfhred's spine as he saw that the expressway drastically slowed, ended, and turned off to a slower, smaller detour before joining back onto the main course several Y'Units ahead. F'Lush, preocupied with keeping a firm hand on the leashes to the puppies, did not notice the sign that indirectly spelled agonizing death for the enforcer. Pfhred saw that his friend did not notice and attempted to verbally communicate that fact to him, but the constant roar of engines that surrounded him made it near impossible to hear himself, let alone have F'Lush hear him. Another idea cam to his already stressed mind.

Knocking on the window to the car, the driver let it down and regarded Pfhred. Resisting the strange, unfamiliar urge to ask for Grey Poupon, Pfhred instead offered what little cash he had in his pockets. The driver looked confused at this. "For the damages," the fighter attempted to explain. The driver of the vehicle was about to ask about what damages Pfhred had reffered to as the fighter reached over and pulled the sub-etherspace radio antennae from the hood of the car and sidled over to the front. Keeping one hand on the hood ornament of the hovering vehicle as he leaned forward, he used his free hand and the antennae it held to tap F'Lush on his cowled shoulder. The Enforcer turned around and looked at Pfhred, narrowly missing a particularly large bump in the road.

Due to the deafening noise of the expressway, Pfhred attempted to explain the situation to F'Lush with his limited knowledge of Pfhor sign language, dropping the antannae and twisting the three free fingers he had available into a variety of positions. F'Lush scowled and twisted the fingers of his own free hand into what could pass for a reply.

-What did you say about my momma?- F'Lush's busy digits spelled out his flustered reply for the joyriding fighter.

-out case we didn't know ice- Pfhred signaled, -there is rod beginning up a neck.-

F'Lush frowned. -Now is not the time for poetry.-

Pfhred attempted to explain again. -road begginning up ahead.-

F'Lush rolled his eyes, then caught on what Pfhred was trying to say. Fighting off the momentary feeling of panic, he pulled from behind his back Happy, and regarded the pink weapon with the loving gaze a mother views her child with. Using Happy's fireballs as propulsion, he blasted himself off to the side, looking around the puppies, the Comm unit booth, and the Mega Gulp, Supremely Sloppy truck to the road end up ahead. He grimaced as he turned the barrel of Happy to the back of the Mega Gulp, Supremely Sloppy truck and proceeded to burn a large hole in the back, metling away the metal alloy. Soon, a large hole dominated the back end of the truck, revealing its green, slimy contents as it sloshed around in a supremely sloppy fashion. F'Lush once again rocketed himself to the side to guage the distance from the road's end.

When the truck, but not its fuzzy followers, began to slow down, although a very small amount, F'Lush returned to the center of the lane and fired his flamethrower down. The resulting recoil rocketed him up away from the metallic pavement. The car following the truck with Pfhred riding it began to slow down as well, catapulting Pfhred from its front up into the air and a collision course with the temporarily hovering F'Lush. Upon crashing into the enforcer, the momentum of Pfhred's flight carried them both through the air into the large hole on the back of the truck and into a sea of slimy green artificial juice. The two aliens landed with a sloppy splash.

The resulting yank on the leashes from F'Lush's flight pulled the puppies at the other end (and the booth that rested upon them) into the air and the slowing truck. Pfhred and F'Lush both swam out of the way just as the large lint ball and the booth splashed where they had been a moment before. F'Lush took advantage of the moment to release the leashes.

Soon, the truck slowed down considerably and turned off to the smaller detour, and once again started to dispense drinks to the whole of P'Dunk's population. Pfhred and F'Lush repeatedly dodged robotic limbs scooping up Mega Gulp, Supremely Sloppy around them. As he looked out the hole in the back, Pfhred saw that several of the Mega Gulp, Supremely Sloppy recipitents had puppies in their drinks. He then climbed out of the burned hole, F'Lush close behind, onto the rear bumper of the truck and stepped down onto the roadway. The two aliens, beaten, scraped, scarred and reeking of Tfee-Berry, stepped onto the sidewalk and watched the Truck depart as it delivered drinks and puppies to passerby. The beweildered inhabitant of the Comm Unit Booth was climbing out of the hole as well, licking the green goop from his fingers and trying to regain his bearings.

The aliens had ended up in the business district of P'Dunk. Towering buildings surrounded them and dominated the skyline, obliterating the setting sun and taking all feeling of nature away from the place.

Pfhred reclined on a hard, wooden bench and watched the clouds as he slurped some Mega Gulp, Supremely Sloppy from his elbow. F'Lush sat down next to him and inspected the numerous scrapes about his robes and body, pulling a few rocks from the nooks of his mask and snarling a variety of curses. Pfhred turned and regarded him.

"You know...." Pfhred began, as he observed a cloud that strongly resembled a mummified cat eating a cantaloupe. "I don't think this work is cut out for us."

F'Lush glared at him as he dumped some Mega Gulp, Supremely Sloppy from the barrel of Happy. "No shit."

Pfhred stood up slowly and limped to the street, looking up and down it in order to get an idea of how far they were from home. Tall buildings lined the purple skyline as far as he could see and the sound of hovertraffic could be heard from all around. Pfhred returned to the bench and kicked at F'Lush as the enforcer pulled off his mask and dumped out a combination of gravel, Mega Gulp, Supremely Sloppy, and Puppy fuzz. He looked up at the fighter as he replaced the mask. "What?"

Pfhred jabbed a scraped thumb to the south. "We're only a few hour's walk from your place. Let's go." F'Lush pulled himself up to his feet with a supremely sloppy slosh noise and began journeying down the sidewalk with Pfhred.

Soon the two aliens came to a rather short building dotted with a variety of antannae and radio dishes. A large, painted mural on the outside read "KPFH Holovision- Bringing boring documentaries and how-to shows to the Empire for seventy-five years." A sign outside the building read "Help wanted. Inquire within." Pfhred and F'Lush exchanged glances and stepped withing the building.

The lobby of the holovision station was covered from top to bottom with soft, plush cushions. Several sitting pillows lined the walls, and a secretary's desk, situated in fron of a large bean bag chair, stood at the far end.

Numerous Pfhor were milling about, discussing matters pertaining to the station. All seemed very restless and anxious about something, and several paced back and forth, eyeing the clock. Upon seeing Pfhred and F'Lush enter, an important-looking business suit wearing Phfor hustled over and started hearding the two aliens out of the lobby and into the halls.

"Are you the hired help? Great. No time for interviews, we air in two minutes.... C'mon, we still have to get you cleaned up and dressed...."

The two pfhor and their shepard entered a large studio. Lights and cameras surrounded them, all facing a stage with a kitchen set up on it. Above the kitchen hung a bright, flashing sign that read "Kooking with K'Luk." A hunter, dressed in an apron that read "Tfear the Cook," a tall white chef's hat and an eggbeater instead of a shoulder-mounted cannon scurried about the set, several fighters in tow. He was yelling profusely at them.

"Vat is ZEES?" the hunter shouted, picking up a head of kabbaghe. "Zees is too old! I cannot verk with zees!"

The hunter shuffled over to the sink as a fighter ran to get a fresher head of kabbaghe. Reaching into the sink and pulling out a soggy orange mess, the hunter turned around and held it in another Fighter's face.

"Vat is ZEES? I sot I told you to clean out zee sink! You EEDIOT! I cannot verk with zees!" The fighter hurrieldly busied himself with cleaning out the sink.

This little party continued for some time, but Pfhred and F'Lush had no time to watch as they were being hosed down by a trooper with a large squirtgun. The mega gulp, suprememly sloppy that coated them and the dirt and mud that joined it all washed away. Pulling out a large blowdryer, the trooper then dried Pfhred and F'Lush. F'Lush's robes puffed up in a silly looking manner. A pair of enforcers placed aprons and silly white hats on F'Lush and Pfhred then shoved them onto the stage. The Hunter in the apron, turning away from a sobbing fighter and shoving him off the set, regarded the two newcomers strangely.

"Vat is ZEES? Hiared help at last? At eez about time! Come, come, stand here...."

The hunter shoved them behind him just as a red "On the air" sign lit up out among the cameras. The hunter smiled under his mask and turned toward the camera.

"Velcome to Kooking with K'Luk. I am your chef, K'Luk zee Fabulous, and today vee will take a vunderful shourney through zee magical vurld ove fine dining. Our featured course today eez Fried S'Pht and T'lum'za juice pie, garnished vith a light vipped cream of tfee-berry vith a side dish ove fresh oven-baked vheat bread."
"Now, since the Vipped Cream of Tfee-Berry takes zee longest to set in zee microwave, vee will start with zat. Take two pounds ove fresh, clean tfee-berries," the hunter shoved Pfhred out of the way and pulled a bundle of green berries from the fridge.
"Two tablespoons ove salt," K'Luk shoved F'Lush into Pfhred to get the salt, which was situated on a spice rack.
"A pinch ove artificial sweetener...." The chef shoved Pfhred into F'Lush, this time, to get to a different Spice rack.
F'Lush snarled under his breath and clenched his fists.
"And finally, a good amount of coffee creamer."

The hunter picked F'Lush up and dropped him out of the way on the other side of the table, then did the same with Pfhred. K'Luk then started to explain the cooking process. Pfhred leaned over and whispered in F'lush's ear.

"I don't like this job." F'Lush spat and stood up. Reaching behind his back into his robes, he drew happy with a flourish and trained its barrel upon the hunter, who turned around and was nearly scared out of his apron.
"VAT is ZEES? Treasonous helpers? I cannot verk with zees!" The hunter reached up to replace the cannon on his shoulder when F'Lush began to say something. This something ended up sounding much like a chirp. All three of the aliens, and the crew filming the show, looked very confused. Another chirp from above drew the alien's attention away from F'Lush to the skylights..

A small group of lookers were crawling in through an open skylight and floating down to the crew. Before anybody could react, explosions rocked the studio, destroying equipment and killing most of the cameramen. A shatter and a shower of glass followed the looker invasion as a rather large, mettallic, pod-like being floated down from the new hole in the ceiling.

The cybernetic entity measured at least forty-five feet high and a similar distance wide. It had the visage of the reaper, a grinning, macabre image of a Pfhor skull, with three robotic, red, glowing eyes. Its fanged maw, captured in the eternal grmace of death, dripped acidic juices onto the studio floor. The body the death head was attached to was rather round. Two missile bays dominated the top, overshadowing the monster's skull-like face and giving it an even more sinister look. To either side of the head stood hook-shaped flamethrowers, burning a firey red-hot color. Two massive hover engines supported the beast from the bottom and another longer, thinner engine lined its back. Its entire body was made of a bright baby blue metal alloy, and a large, friendly picture of a rainbow was painted on its forhead, above its third eye.

Pfhred, F'Lush, and K'Luk regarded the Juggernaut in awe as it slowly settled to the floor and waited there. Soon after, another Juggernaut, with similar features save for bright periwinkle colored metal and an image of a lollipop instead of a rainbow, floated in through the skylight and settled next to the blue Jugg. This newcoming Jugg was followed by a rainbow horde of brightly colored drones, wasps, and lookers. All were colored in very cheerful pastels.

The blue Juggernaut floated forward a few feet and spoak, its horrible maw contorting to form the words as acid drooling from its mouth ate small craters in the floor. Its voice sounded like shattering glass and set the trio of Pfhor's nerves to edge.

"You have been summoned by his Most Unpleasant Emperor, Enforcer."

F'Lush reared back and snarled as the beast once again twisted its lurid, toothy mouth and spoke in its horrible voice.

"His Extremely Unfavorableness has decreed that the Fighter should die, and the Hunter should perish by virtue of his disusting food."

Pfhred started to whimper and K'Luk glowered under his helmet.

"If the Enforcer agress to come peacefully, then the Fighter and Hunter will die a quick and painless death. Should it refuse to go peacefully, they will die slowly and very painfully."

F'Lush readied Happy and stood in an attack stance. Pfhred reached back and drew his staff as its crystal ignited into a glowing fire. K'Luk panicked.

"VAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!? Zere are MEEELIONS ove zem! Vee vill nevare vin! You must be CRAZY!"

The hunter then fell to his knees and started to cry. Pfhred, becoming very angry with the hunter, slapped him on the helmet.

"Either way," he spat, "You're dead. Would you rather die in mercy, a quivering sobbing mess, or go down like the warrior you were bred to be?" K'Luk pondered this, then stated his quavering reply. "I don't vant to die...." Pfhred slapped him again. "Then fight, you idiot." As K'Luk stood slowly and readied himself for what he thought would be utter anhialation at the hands of the Juggernauts and the horde of beasties behind them, Pfhred turned to F'Lush and whispered in his ear.
"Just imagine them as humans." F'Lush's eyes kindeled with a new fire and he growled under his breath as the blood pumping through his body eclipsed his vision with a red tinge of fury. Pfhred giggled and turned back to the monsters, raising his staff overhead and grinning merrily.
"Now," began the baby blue Jugg as its eyes narrowed to slender ember slits, its voice sounding like the desperate scream of a person burning alive. "You will all learn the true meaning of agony."
o8 )

At the same time the Blue Juggernaut stated this rather cliche phrase, on a floating citadel millions of light years from K'Pook'Um and the KPFH studio, a very large, sinister being reached over and grabbed a bowl of popcorn, kicking its hover engines up on the table and watching the holographic image of the approaching carnage comfortably.

o8 )
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